Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto (Hardcover)

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Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto (Hardcover)


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Staff Reviews

I know it sounds cliche but this book really did make me laugh and cry. It's funny and sexy and honest and sometimes painfully relatable. Equal parts sociological exploration of bisexuality and memoir, Zachary Zane will steal your heart.

— From Booksmith's 2023 Holiday Catalog


“Zachary Zane is one of the best sex writers working today.” —Dan Savage, New York Times bestselling author
Named a Most Anticipated LGBTQ+ Book of the Year by Buzzfeed
A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming-of-age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.
As a boy, Zachary Zane sensed that all was not right when images of his therapist naked popped into his head. Without an explanation as to why, a deep sense of shame pervaded these thoughts. Though his therapist assured him a little imagination was nothing to be ashamed of, over the years, society told him otherwise.
Boyslut is a series of personal and tantalizing essays that articulate how our society still shames people for the sex that they have and the sexualities that they inhabit. Through the lens of his bisexuality and much self-described sluttiness, Zane breaks down exactly how this sexual shame negatively impacts the sex and relationships in our lives, and through personal experience, shares how we can unlearn the harmful, entrenched messages that society imparts to us.
From stories of drug-fueled threesomes and risqué Grindr hookups to insights on dealing with rejection and living with his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s wife, Boyslut is reassuring and often painfully funny—but is most potently a testimony that we can all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.
Zachary Zane is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto and co-author of Men’s Health Best. Sex. Ever. He writes “Sexplain It,” the sex and relationship advice column at Men’s Health, and “Navigating Non-Monogamy,” the polyamorous relationship column at Cosmopolitan. He is editor-in-chief of the BOYSLUT Zine, which publishes nonfiction erotica from kinksters across the globe. His work has been featured in New York Times, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, Playboy, and more.
He has two columns: “Sexplain It” the sex and relationship advice column at Men’s Health and “Navigating Non-Monogamy” at Cosmo, where he shares all the mistakes he’s made in his polyamory journey, so you don’t have to.
He is also the founder and editor in chief of Boyslut zine, which publishes real sex stories from kinksters worldwide. His work on sexuality and relationships has been published in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, the Washington Post, GQ, OUT, and many others.
Product Details ISBN: 9781419764714
ISBN-10: 1419764713
Publisher: Abrams Image
Publication Date: May 9th, 2023
Pages: 240
Language: English
“Zachary Zane . . . has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. Accessible, engaging, and genuinely hilarious, these essays are as titillating as they are educational.”
— BUZZFEED, 24 of the Most Anticipated LGBTQ+ Books of 2023

"From sharing how a sex toy saved his love life to detailing his polyamory journey, Zachary Zane, a sex columnist for Men’s Health and Cosmopolitan US, has made his name in witty entries about his life. A self-described “memoir and manifesto” Zane pours his life lessons into easy, accessible essays, tackling subjects of bisexuality, STIs, sexual shame and much more. You’ll put down Boyslut having learned a little more about the ways we discuss sexuality and, thanks to Zane’s colourful anecdotes, enjoy some sex-positive storytelling."
— Zoya Raza-Sheikh

“Zane pushes the envelope . . . His arguments about the complications of bisexual visibility are particularly salient.”

“The author succeeds at candidly detailing and measuring the value of his sexual exploits . . . Zane provides an enlightening glossary of common and lesser-known sexual terminology . . . His emphatic discourses on erotic liberation, the misunderstood bisexual community, and overcoming sexual shame are credible and noteworthy.”

“[A] lively examination of all things sexual . . . His observations are lucid, fearlessly candid, informative, and, well, wise. This doesn’t mean they are in any way didactic—they're always accessible, often funny, and, best of all, they leave the reader with the admonishment that “being kind doesn’t cost you a dime.”

“An exercise in shamelessness (that’s a point of pride for Zane and should not be read as an insult), the book details the vast sex life of the bisexual writer. Most fascinating, I thought, was the casual way it traced Zane’s sexual evolution, from considering himself straight to bicurious to bi to polyamorous. Landing on an identity need not be one’s final stop–it can be just the step before the next one, and part of the point of life (at least in my opinion) is to keep growing. Come, watch Zachary Zane grow.” 

"Companionable, astute, hilarious, honest, and heartfelt."

“Cocky, comic, and clearly heartfelt, Boyslut offers a vision of non-toxic modern masculinity that allows for all the quirks, kinks, and fetishes one’s dirty mind desires.”

“Zachary Zane is a FABULOUS queer writer and thinker who’s doing the Lord’s work by promoting bi-visibility, teaching the children about polyamory, and helping the LGBTQ+ community—and really, all people—learn how to become their best authentic selves.”
— BILLY PORTER, actor, singer, and author

“Zachary Zane is one of the best sex writers working today. He has a unique ability to balance humor with a deep appreciation for the vulnerability and humanity of his subjects. And reading about Zane’s own sexual adventures is like getting invited to Sunday brunch by your wittiest, sluttiest, funniest friend and getting to listen to him recount his crazy weekend.”
— DAN SAVAGE, sex columnist and New York Times bestselling author

“In a world where sexuality and masculinity are often misunderstood and conflated, Zachary Zane manages to use his own unique experiences to knock down stigmas and expand what it means to have a healthy relationship with sex. His honest approach is a welcome reprieve from the messages of our youth and his self-exploration not only encourages but enables us to do our own.”
— ALLISON RASKIN, podcaster and New York Times bestselling author

“Zachary is so adept at creating and maintaining exuberant and generative community in spaces that typically feel isolating or forbidding. In the same way, his writing is an invitation that bridges divides. I live for his verve, his no-holds-barred revelations, and his wisdom.”
— R. ERIC THOMAS, national bestselling author

“As charming as it is singular, Zachary's voice is one that is sorely needed in culture. His honesty, candor, analysis, and erotic chaos are a blessing to us all.”
— JACOB TOBIA, national bestselling author